My sense of humor...

... is sick, twisted, hilarious, random and lets face it never ends!

If you have read a single one of my blog posts you prob got a chuckle or two out of it. It's a gift... I blame my family for it. We are all goofy, weird, and well, let's face it perverts (Which we all know make for the best humor!) So go pee, put on a pad, and grab some tissues.

This is my kind of humor...

Prego farts/opinions are the worst!

My family says "Don't you LOOK at me in that tone of voice" all the time... this is the online version

Same way I used to look at the clubs!

You know how hard it is to nail jello to a wall?!

Oh Angry Kitty... You always make me lose my cool by laughing!

My Army "kids" do this to me... I can only imagine what my actual kids will be like.

I don't even know what they put in my bathroom products anymore!

And our meds were butt whoopins!

Been there more than once... on date nights with Nic none the less!

Hey... sometimes you can annoy me Nic, but I still love you!

I WILL DO THIS TO JAMESON NIC!!! HAHAH

It will scare the crap out of them when they read up on history and realize it was for recreation!

Not unless he is invited to the right party... I know God has a sense of humor.

I'm 24... that's not old... you're music DOES suck!

It WAS casual Friday!

Seriously, what the heck did the chicken do to be questioned?!

Damn liberals

Family gene

I'm like Joey on Friends... CARRIE DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!

I learned better a few years ago after we went to a Passions Party and my mom whacked my face with a big rubber pink.... Weapon

Linnitis... Probably be named after Nic though.

Prego yoga once a month lately!

Shh... Don't tell anyone!

Lego pain should be on the picture scale they have on the back of hospital room doors with those smiley to frown face.. lego being the most painful.

And I haven't even gone to the extreme of my survival kit yet!

Squirrel!

Martha...

I want this for my nursery just so I can have a little laugh before losing my cool

My Army kids understand this!

I think this goes with the Military humor I gained by marrying Nic.

When is one of the Ex's going to write a song about her?!

Bathroom faucet and redoing kitchen table come to mind Nic... *cough cough*

REALLY!!

I dont want to point it out though... It's pure entertainment!

Remember that when you get in bed tonight.

I better get apology flowers and dinner too!

lol

And randomly breaks out in song and dance

I know so many perverts! You all know who you are!

 

 

 

Ok now take a deep breath! I'm done for now since I got to laughing again and about made myself pee and Jameson has the hiccups against my bladder! haha

 

In a giggle fit

Carrie Linn

You know you are a Military Spouse when...

An entire closet/room is full of Military gear only

You respond to questions with "Roger" or "Negative"
You've had your underwear stick to the velcro on ACUs
You know the meaning to "Hurry up and wait"

You know what time 1730 is
You spell out things in the Phenotic Alphabet

You get funny looks off post when you say PCS, TDY, LES, BAH...
You know that not all military personel are soldiers

You know the meaning to "Hooah" and "Oorah"
The grocery store is called a Commisary
You know never to go to the Commisary on payday

You have lived by yourself more than with your service member
You have tripped over combat boots some/any/everywhere in your house
Half of your house decor is Red, White, Blue and Camo
You have been to a 'Manditory Fun Day'

You only write on your calendar in pencil
You have a favorite MRE meal

You don't bat an eyelash when you hear a bang that shakes your entire house on post.
You refer to planes and helicopters as birds
Your favorite/sexiest outfit your service member wears is their uniform

You have many military spouse friends, but you have never met most of them except for online
You have a lot of camo and olive drab colored clothing
You know what Murphy's Law is

You know that every service member's favorite piece of gear is the woobie
You know all of your service member's friends by their last name only
You recite your service member's social security number automatically instead of your own
You can pack, move, and unpack an entire house in less than 72 hours

 

 

 

What else do you feel belongs on this list spouses?!

 



 

Household 6

Carrie Linn

Being a Lady...

... in a hoochie world!

This drives my up the wall! What happened to being a lady? And I'm not talking 1950'2 Stepford wife, but lord just having some manners!

I am with VERY few facebook women's groups. Almost all are Mil wife groups. Let me just say, I miss high school drama! Lately advice groups have become nothing but a gossip, bitching, and insulting crowd. It's so sad to ask an honest question and some comment becomes a complete insult, names are called, and someone calls you a 'fat bitch' when you asked about how the point system works for service members. (This is an ACTUAL example I am using people!)

This is ofcourse not just for Mil wives, and not just online either.

There is so many other things that gals seem to just throw out that window too when it comes to being a lady. Honestly what happened to our society?! Sex sells. Ok. But that doesn't mean every single gal over the age of 5 should dress like a street walker and act like one after the age of 9! I have seen little girls clothes get shorter, tighter, and way to 'bedroom adult' styled in the last years that it makes me sick! And why on earth are these little girls wearing make up?! Oh dont get me wrong, I had fun play makeup when I was a little thing, and it was always fun to dress up, but I sure as heck didnt look like I was a 21 year old going out to the club! I was lucky if I didnt have lipstick on my teeth and blush covering the entire sides of my face. Now instead of wearing mom's high heels at sleepovers, little girls wear them to school on a daily basis.

That is just little girls clothing too! I hate clothing shopping. Ok I dont hate it, but the 'styles' they have these days chase me away from the stores. Shirts showing your midrift, cut so low you can almost see nips. Dresses and skirts so short you can tell what religion a gal is (I love this saying my step-dad uses!). Makeup so thick and over dramatic that you cant tell the actual skin color/race of someone. I believe that women should wear clothes to show they are a woman, but covered and classy enough to show they are a lady.

Now as much as I hate to get this started... what happened to the words that come out of women's mouths these days!! Dont get me wrong, I can have a potty mouth, but dear lord when did some of these nasty words become everyday vocabulary. Or something to use in EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE y'all speak! Saying the F bomb over and over again just makes you look like you have absolutely no class and can't hold a decent conversation. I'm afraid for Jameson when he gets old enough to have to hear these words spoken while I'm standing in the grocery store line. I get it... words slip. But there is a difference between cussing when you stub your toe and cussing while talking about what color of shirt you are wearing over coffee with a friend. And going out and calling others some of the HORRIBLE names I hear these days are poison to my ears! I am a full grown woman and have heard it all, but I can't stand when some woman blurts out the 'C' word like it's equal to the word "water". It's sick, rude, and you can use your tounge much better than that!

Now gossip happens in every form imaginable. (Even men gossip... sometimes I swear more than us gals do sometimes!) But when did it become ok to let gossip become EVERYONES business. I understand that you and your sister-in-law are having issues when it comes to her watching your kids. Ok. But does everyone that you are friends with online need to know about how you feel about her?! I have my days where I need to vent about a specific matter. So you know what I do... I talk to one of my girlfriends whom I trust PRIVATELY and get it out of my system. I dont go blurting it to everyone and their mom. It's none of y'alls business. I honestly don't want to hear about the drama between Jamie and Jennifer either. That is something y'all need to discuss to eachother and eachother only. When you get an entire group of women involved then it just becomes a mess of a situation. Someone that wasnt even involved loses friends, and someone else gets extremely hurt by what is said. It's stupid, childish, and y'all that are reading this I know are fully grown women that should know better.

So please tell me gals. What happened to being a lady? What happened to eating with our mouths closed? Crossing our legs while wearing a dress/skirt? Brushing your hair when you leave the house (or at least throwing on a hat)? Wearing something besides PJ pants and slippers to the grocery store (it takes 15 extra second to put on jeans and flipflops)? Holding your tounge when you want to cuss out the person who just cut in front of you in the bread aisle? Why dont women worry about their image anymore?

We can all still get our point across while having some tact and class. I know that I would love to go off and chew out the broad that insults the woman asking a simple question. But instead I ignore her and help out the innocent bistandard or I respectfully tell the broad that there is no reason to go off and be insulting and rude when it has nothing to do with the matter and that she can do better things with her time.

Please LADIES, become just that. Be a lady. This world has become so obsessed with the rude, hoochie, cussing, spitting, sorry excuse for a WOMAN these days. Help restore the image that we aren't hopeless neanderthals.

Little LADY of Liberty
Carrie Linn