My sense of humor...

... is sick, twisted, hilarious, random and lets face it never ends!

If you have read a single one of my blog posts you prob got a chuckle or two out of it. It's a gift... I blame my family for it. We are all goofy, weird, and well, let's face it perverts (Which we all know make for the best humor!) So go pee, put on a pad, and grab some tissues.

This is my kind of humor...

Prego farts/opinions are the worst!

My family says "Don't you LOOK at me in that tone of voice" all the time... this is the online version

Same way I used to look at the clubs!

You know how hard it is to nail jello to a wall?!

Oh Angry Kitty... You always make me lose my cool by laughing!

My Army "kids" do this to me... I can only imagine what my actual kids will be like.

I don't even know what they put in my bathroom products anymore!

And our meds were butt whoopins!

Been there more than once... on date nights with Nic none the less!

Hey... sometimes you can annoy me Nic, but I still love you!

I WILL DO THIS TO JAMESON NIC!!! HAHAH

It will scare the crap out of them when they read up on history and realize it was for recreation!

Not unless he is invited to the right party... I know God has a sense of humor.

I'm 24... that's not old... you're music DOES suck!

It WAS casual Friday!

Seriously, what the heck did the chicken do to be questioned?!

Damn liberals

Family gene

I'm like Joey on Friends... CARRIE DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!

I learned better a few years ago after we went to a Passions Party and my mom whacked my face with a big rubber pink.... Weapon

Linnitis... Probably be named after Nic though.

Prego yoga once a month lately!

Shh... Don't tell anyone!

Lego pain should be on the picture scale they have on the back of hospital room doors with those smiley to frown face.. lego being the most painful.

And I haven't even gone to the extreme of my survival kit yet!

Squirrel!

Martha...

I want this for my nursery just so I can have a little laugh before losing my cool

My Army kids understand this!

I think this goes with the Military humor I gained by marrying Nic.

When is one of the Ex's going to write a song about her?!

Bathroom faucet and redoing kitchen table come to mind Nic... *cough cough*

REALLY!!

I dont want to point it out though... It's pure entertainment!

Remember that when you get in bed tonight.

I better get apology flowers and dinner too!

lol

And randomly breaks out in song and dance

I know so many perverts! You all know who you are!

 

 

 

Ok now take a deep breath! I'm done for now since I got to laughing again and about made myself pee and Jameson has the hiccups against my bladder! haha

 

In a giggle fit

Carrie Linn

You know you are a Military Spouse when...

An entire closet/room is full of Military gear only

You respond to questions with "Roger" or "Negative"
You've had your underwear stick to the velcro on ACUs
You know the meaning to "Hurry up and wait"

You know what time 1730 is
You spell out things in the Phenotic Alphabet

You get funny looks off post when you say PCS, TDY, LES, BAH...
You know that not all military personel are soldiers

You know the meaning to "Hooah" and "Oorah"
The grocery store is called a Commisary
You know never to go to the Commisary on payday

You have lived by yourself more than with your service member
You have tripped over combat boots some/any/everywhere in your house
Half of your house decor is Red, White, Blue and Camo
You have been to a 'Manditory Fun Day'

You only write on your calendar in pencil
You have a favorite MRE meal

You don't bat an eyelash when you hear a bang that shakes your entire house on post.
You refer to planes and helicopters as birds
Your favorite/sexiest outfit your service member wears is their uniform

You have many military spouse friends, but you have never met most of them except for online
You have a lot of camo and olive drab colored clothing
You know what Murphy's Law is

You know that every service member's favorite piece of gear is the woobie
You know all of your service member's friends by their last name only
You recite your service member's social security number automatically instead of your own
You can pack, move, and unpack an entire house in less than 72 hours

 

 

 

What else do you feel belongs on this list spouses?!

 



 

Household 6

Carrie Linn

Being a Lady...

... in a hoochie world!

This drives my up the wall! What happened to being a lady? And I'm not talking 1950'2 Stepford wife, but lord just having some manners!

I am with VERY few facebook women's groups. Almost all are Mil wife groups. Let me just say, I miss high school drama! Lately advice groups have become nothing but a gossip, bitching, and insulting crowd. It's so sad to ask an honest question and some comment becomes a complete insult, names are called, and someone calls you a 'fat bitch' when you asked about how the point system works for service members. (This is an ACTUAL example I am using people!)

This is ofcourse not just for Mil wives, and not just online either.

There is so many other things that gals seem to just throw out that window too when it comes to being a lady. Honestly what happened to our society?! Sex sells. Ok. But that doesn't mean every single gal over the age of 5 should dress like a street walker and act like one after the age of 9! I have seen little girls clothes get shorter, tighter, and way to 'bedroom adult' styled in the last years that it makes me sick! And why on earth are these little girls wearing make up?! Oh dont get me wrong, I had fun play makeup when I was a little thing, and it was always fun to dress up, but I sure as heck didnt look like I was a 21 year old going out to the club! I was lucky if I didnt have lipstick on my teeth and blush covering the entire sides of my face. Now instead of wearing mom's high heels at sleepovers, little girls wear them to school on a daily basis.

That is just little girls clothing too! I hate clothing shopping. Ok I dont hate it, but the 'styles' they have these days chase me away from the stores. Shirts showing your midrift, cut so low you can almost see nips. Dresses and skirts so short you can tell what religion a gal is (I love this saying my step-dad uses!). Makeup so thick and over dramatic that you cant tell the actual skin color/race of someone. I believe that women should wear clothes to show they are a woman, but covered and classy enough to show they are a lady.

Now as much as I hate to get this started... what happened to the words that come out of women's mouths these days!! Dont get me wrong, I can have a potty mouth, but dear lord when did some of these nasty words become everyday vocabulary. Or something to use in EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE y'all speak! Saying the F bomb over and over again just makes you look like you have absolutely no class and can't hold a decent conversation. I'm afraid for Jameson when he gets old enough to have to hear these words spoken while I'm standing in the grocery store line. I get it... words slip. But there is a difference between cussing when you stub your toe and cussing while talking about what color of shirt you are wearing over coffee with a friend. And going out and calling others some of the HORRIBLE names I hear these days are poison to my ears! I am a full grown woman and have heard it all, but I can't stand when some woman blurts out the 'C' word like it's equal to the word "water". It's sick, rude, and you can use your tounge much better than that!

Now gossip happens in every form imaginable. (Even men gossip... sometimes I swear more than us gals do sometimes!) But when did it become ok to let gossip become EVERYONES business. I understand that you and your sister-in-law are having issues when it comes to her watching your kids. Ok. But does everyone that you are friends with online need to know about how you feel about her?! I have my days where I need to vent about a specific matter. So you know what I do... I talk to one of my girlfriends whom I trust PRIVATELY and get it out of my system. I dont go blurting it to everyone and their mom. It's none of y'alls business. I honestly don't want to hear about the drama between Jamie and Jennifer either. That is something y'all need to discuss to eachother and eachother only. When you get an entire group of women involved then it just becomes a mess of a situation. Someone that wasnt even involved loses friends, and someone else gets extremely hurt by what is said. It's stupid, childish, and y'all that are reading this I know are fully grown women that should know better.

So please tell me gals. What happened to being a lady? What happened to eating with our mouths closed? Crossing our legs while wearing a dress/skirt? Brushing your hair when you leave the house (or at least throwing on a hat)? Wearing something besides PJ pants and slippers to the grocery store (it takes 15 extra second to put on jeans and flipflops)? Holding your tounge when you want to cuss out the person who just cut in front of you in the bread aisle? Why dont women worry about their image anymore?

We can all still get our point across while having some tact and class. I know that I would love to go off and chew out the broad that insults the woman asking a simple question. But instead I ignore her and help out the innocent bistandard or I respectfully tell the broad that there is no reason to go off and be insulting and rude when it has nothing to do with the matter and that she can do better things with her time.

Please LADIES, become just that. Be a lady. This world has become so obsessed with the rude, hoochie, cussing, spitting, sorry excuse for a WOMAN these days. Help restore the image that we aren't hopeless neanderthals.

Little LADY of Liberty
Carrie Linn

The Adventures of Dork Fish and Goober Butt...

... Part one.

Let's face it. Nic and are are goofy as it gets! I love it. We are constantly making eachother laugh by just stupid funny things we do on a daily basis. He calls me Dork Fish and I call him Goober Butt (He has the big butt of the two of us... so naturally he get's that name. Plus he LOVES peanuts. For y'all that don't know the South, a goober is a peanut.)

So for a fun segment of our first year (ok more like first 15 months or so... but cut me some slack people!) together I decided to post pics of our silly and fun adventures.

3D movies!!! This was our first movie together I believe. Return of the Titans maybe? We also saw the newest Ice Age in 3D! We're just a couple of big kids!

This is what happens when you let Nic into a giant toy store! I also got a giant rubber duck! :)

Oh the fun guy's night! This was moments before Keisel proposed to Rose. Erika and I are still upset that our husband's are such big bro-whores.

Jacob Culy and Nic's bromance over Memorial Day weekend BBQ. I got to play babies :)

Nic loves to fish... ALOT! Can you spot the Ranger?! He's not in a guillie suit, but pretty close to it! LOL

See what happens when you are hung over and not paying attention... You have to sit at the little kids table.

This is what happens when my husband takes me fishing with him. I go duck hunting!

See the two happy couples on the sides! Yeah we love you too Bailey and Chelsea!

Family reunion! Also Jameson 'Chunky Butt' Linn's reveal! Well we didn't know he was a he yet. But this was when we announced it to everyone that didnt already know we were pregnant.... which was almost everyone already anyway. (Nic has a big mouth!)

That's right Jameson! Stay in there for as long as you can! These people are nuts!

Girl's night! Too much fun! (Have we all forgotten our 'stripper names' yet?!)

We do mostly fun and cute pictures together... then you get us in a photo booth! I'm glad Nic isn't camera shy!

Bang Bang! Nic is proud of his gun loving wife! But I really need to get a lighter rifle for myself... and maybe a Kimber too!!! (Push present Nic.. hint hint hint)

Yeah he's a bad ass with his new toy he just camo painted himself the night before.

Damn my husband is sexy. Give him a gun and MEOW!

Our first Halloween together! Black and white was the theme! Mom was a naughty nun, and Nic was an EXTREMELY intoxicated skeleton. I was the prego drinking water and gatorade all night... Fun right!

Nic, little cousins, toy store... you get the picture.

Justin (my re-re big brother!) and Nic racing to the finish line! I bet my money on Nic.

"Dad and son" Can you tell who is Nic and who is Bobby B?!

The hat is just for effect. He is already a goofy Irish man.

Mommy-in-law is home!!! She surprised us by magically showing up in Washington while we were on vacation there. She was supposed to be in Kuwait at the time. Such a trickster!

Nic and Ly (his little pocket Asian as he calls him) getting ready to graduate from ALC.

Las Vegas baby! Fun vacation!

Surprisingly enough they weren't wearing the long green Army boot socks... But the combat boots and shorts were funny enough!

Keisel is 2 more drinks away from puking in out front yard (again), and one drink away from proposing to Rose and groping Nic.

 

These WERE our Christmas stockings... Them they became Nic's Christmas boots socks. Some people's husbands...

 

 

So there you have it! I know there are so many more goofy things we have done, but you can't always catch every silly moment on camera. Stay tuned for the next adventure when I introduce the new member to our crew, Chunky Butt!

 

Chunk Butt's pre-arivail pic!

 

Dork Fish Out

Carrie Linn

Protect and Support...

... the promises of our marriage.

Nic and I got married December 21st, 2011. It was a simple ceremony in Vegas. No we didn't get married by Elvis... This was the compromise I had to make so Nic wouldn't get his wish of the drive through wedding.

Any way, before the ceremony we were with the minister marrying us talking a bit about ourselves. Nic metioned he was in the Army and had just got back from Iraq early November. It was a quick ceremony, was video recorded... but sadly the sound didn't come through on the video... Not cool right! But thats ok bc there was a part that was in our vows that I will never forget were put there by the minister.

Protect and Support

This nailed what our marriage would become on the head. Nic's vow to protect me. My vow to support him.

Now don't get me wrong. We are human and had definantly had our ups and downs. We have been through alot though in our little over a year of marriage. They say the first few years are the hardest... Well I have a feeling it can only get better from where we have been.

Sorry... Writing ADHD (SQUIRREL!)

Back to Protect and Support.

Nic has protected me from day one in so many ways. From being a hero for this country that I admire to standing up for me when I've been put down. He will literally take a physical and metaphorical bullet for me.

Heck he tought me how to shoot a bullet even! He has held my hand through so much, kept me warm and comforted at night, and wiped my tears. He doesn't let my stubborness get in the way of bettering myself and our relationship. When I feel down about my appearance, we looks me in the eye, tells me I'm beautiful and makes me believe it. He kisses me on the forehead (which pretty much feels like the entire world doesn't exsist). He squishes me when we snuggle bc he wants to make sure nothing can get to me. He pretty much carries me everywhere if there is any sort of snow or anything on the ground to make sure I never fall. He doesn't let me carry heavy things (no matter how much I argue that I can handle it). Let's face it... he babies me a bit. I'm spoiled by him.

Support on my part I feel comes in all shapes. Now I can't talk a whole lot about it bc personally I dont know how he feels about my support for him. So I'll try to do my best of what he has told and/or showed me.

Our relationship began with support for him. He was in Iraq when we started dating. I was born a patriot and have always supported our military, but dating someone thousands of miles away in a war zone was definantly going to have it's challenges. We had been able to talk everyday. Then all of a sudden I come home from work to find a message from not even 5 minutes before on my computer from Nic saying "I wont be able to talk for a few days. Please don't worry about me Carrie. I love you."

Now let me set this up for you. He was in a war zone. We had talked EVERYDAY for few weeks now. Had never said I love you to each other. And here I am told by a soldier not to worry. When will they learn NEVER to say "Don't worry". It's equal to "Don't look down"

I literally broke down cryinng and couldn't stop for hours bc I was terrified. I was terrified when I read those words bc I knew I was madly in love with Nic. I was terrified that I couldn't do it. I was terrified that I would never get to talk to him again. I was terrified that I would never get to hold the man who I knew I could not live without.

The next several days I had no life in my soul. I would rush home from work everyday praying to have a message from him only to start crying again when there wasn't one. After those long, horrible, terrifying, draining days I got a phone call at 0437 (Yes I know the EXACT time). I groggily answered my phone with a grunt. I heard a small laugh on the line. "Hey beautiful." From that moment I knew we would spend our lives together.

Our first picture after he got home from Iraq

Everyday he was there I would send a prayer for his and every soldier's safety. When he came back I was there to greet him with the biggest hug and kiss of all time. When he had to leave for a month for school in GA, a month of helping train others in Cali, and another month in Cali, I was patiently waiting for him at home (Not easily patient... but still patient) and still greeted him everytime with the biggest hug and kiss and pure happieness. When he had to go to the field for a few days I always made snacks for him and the guys. (AKA my kids!)

Yes I have told him a few times that I really hate the Army (more so bc of how it's run), but I would support his career every single day. I would always be home waiting for him no matter how long or where he had to go. I knew from day one that it would be a stuggle in this life style, but bring it on!

Now I dont just support his career. I support his hobbies too (mostly his fishing habit!) LOL He loves to go fishing, but doesn't like going alone. Now I'm am NOT a fisher. It has never stopped me though from grabbing a chair, book, few snacks and going with him and sitting in the sun and keeping him company (and looking at his butt in those tight jeans. Yeah Buddy!). I never have a problem touching the bait, unhooking a fish, and even getting my boots muddy for him. (Well and rubber ducks) I think it is a great time!

We have had struggles like every relationship, but we fought through them together. He has protected me when needed and I have supported him when needed. It's something that we will always remember about our vows. The most important words in our vows to eachother.

Supporting my Protector
Carrie Linn