Military Balls...

... Wear this... Do NOT wear that!

OK, So I have been seeing a hundred and one posts on FB asking about Military Balls and the protocal for attire. Honestly I didn't think it was hard at all to know what was formal and proper to wear, but I understand that not everyone understands the etiquette in such formal events.

First off this is an event for your military man (I say man because I'm sure only women read this blog... Well unless my husband is completely board then he might read it, but I won't get mad at him for not doing so. He knows what I talk about all the time anyway. But know that I am NOT at all sexist. But please men follow the rules and don't wear a SINGLE thing that I post on this blog. I'm sure some of y'all can pull off a strapless A-line better than me... but this is not the place to prove that!)

Sorry, got off track there. Any way this is a FORMAL event celebrating your military man, the military branch he is in... and really you are just lucky to get to come. This is NOT an event about you. In saying that, don't try to make it revolve around you. I will talk about getting ready for the Ball... AKA WHAT DO I WEAR?! This seems to be the biggest dilema I have ever hear in the military wife world (Well second to deployments coming up... but it's not far behind it!) What is proper, can I wear this, I'm clueless on what to wear, how much is to much skin, is this to tight, and does this show too much leg/cleavage/stomach/back..... You get the idea. And don't laugh... this is literally questions I have taken off of blogs and FB wife pages.

It seems that a large majority of today's women don't understand the definition of elegance and class. I'm not being mean or picking on y'all really. We are all raised differently, in differently places, and well what today calls "class and elegant" is a pretty big joke when we have shows like Toddlers and Tiaras and Honey Boo Boo tainting our brains. (TLC you are becoming such a dissapointment to me!) When you look at a dress and really have to think "Is this classy or trashy? Will it be alright for a Ball or will that push the boundries?"

This is why I am posting this fun little piece. Now I have only been to one Army Ball. It was a blast! It IS a very formal event, but you still get to enjoy your time, meets lots of new people, and who doest like getting dolled up and seeing your man in his Dress Blues?! (MEOW!!) So below I'm going to have like 500 pics of what I feel are Dos and Don'ts of Mil Ball attire. Once again... this night is not about YOU, it is about your service member.

So let's start with the WTF?! DO NOT WEAR THIS!

Little skin can be tasteful and yet still elegant. THIS IS NOT! NO belly showing. NONE!

Ball gowns can be proper or too much. This is too much honey. It's a Mil Ball, not Cinderella's Ball.

Jesus! This is waiting for a nip to fall out of!

Short... No...

 

This is not the prom. You did not make prom queen nor are you a princess. I find these very juvenile.

The cut is a yes. The color... NO! I don't know when it came cool to wear every color in the crayon box on a formal dress but PLEASE do NOT do it! You will stick out... and the last thing you ever what to do at a ball is stick out. I say (depending on the dress of course) 2 color limit, one of those colors being white, black, or dark blue and the other color being an accent.

I know your man loves your girls, and you are probably very proud of them... But I dont want to see my husband admiring them all night. Keep the girls up until after you take that dress off at home with your man.

Slits... this is a mega pet peeve of mine! I have seen some BEAUTIFUL dresses, then I see the slit and your Woo Hoo and it's ruined. The rule of thump is the slit not be 3 inches above the knee. I prefer not above the knee cap.

Once again short dresses... NO NO NO!!!

You will hear a hundred arguements about floor length and tea length (right at bottom of knee) I will always wear a floor length gown. And dont start on the "I'm to tall/short for full length" I saw a gal who was under 5ft rocking a full length, I'm 5ft8in and rock a full length, and saw a gal over 6ft rocking a full length. Look harder. You may love the mermaid style but it doesn't look right on you. Doesn't mean every long gown wont look good on you. If you MUST go short... NEVER above the bottom of your knees.  

Don't laugh... I saw worse at the ball I went to. *shudder*

NO TO SHORT!

 

NO TO SHORT... Ok I think I put that once now, but dear lord ladies this is NOT appropriate! And if you think it is... *banging head against wall*

Once again the slit a no... Even though she has the shirt or whatever that is under it... it's way above the knee. The white one on the other hand is very pretty!

I don't feel platforms are proper foot attire for any formal event. Some do look FAB! Dont get me wrong, I just dont see them as formal at all. I see them as night out on the town in nicer clubs.

Ok this goes with the platform heels... But also NO clear shoes... Leave that for the stip club/bed room.

 

 

Also please stay away from the glitter. This is not prom, da club, and there will not be a pole there with strobe lights and singles being thrown at you. Have the proper undergarments. If you need a holder for the ladies... Get a good one! Keep the makeup classy. Accessories nice. Hair simple but elegant. And have nice nails! You will be shaking hands of VIPs. Get those toes looking good if you have open toed shoes and a nice manicure. Rule of thumb with finger nails... reds, french tips, or natural looking. Now is not the time to rock the new glitter orange you got or be moody and have the black going.

 

 

YAYs and OKs... Here are some general rules and few ideas of what I feel are completely acceptable dresses. Just giving you ideas. Do NOT though pick a YAY from this list and mix with a NO from above... the NOs are not cancelled out with a good. So dont do it please unless you want the stink eye and to be talked about.... negatively!

 

This has some goods, oks, and possible no. I say no to any sort of trains. The color and cut is a major YES... The back is where it gets tricky. I love to show off my back. I think it is one of the best looking parts of my body. You can have the sexy we all like, but still elegant. Just make sure it isn't too low on the back... I dont want to see your lower back tattoo (and you prob dont want to see mine either) The spot this dress hits on the lower back I think is perfect. Any lower and I think it's too low.

Ok I think the tulle on the bottom is too prom like, but the back detailing I do like. Just a nice example I felt.

I LOVE the back of this! Extremely elegant and classy. Has the beautiful lady like cut out and still get to show off your back.

Boobs... good. Length... good. Color... good. She nailed this look from head to toe I think. Simple, elegant, dressy and beautiful feeling, but not too much.

I like both of these. I feel this should be the most you ever show of the ladies. They dont have huge knockers so they can pull of the lower look, but it is also enough fabric that I feel is your girls were bigger you could still cover them fully... just remember a good boulder holder.

The shape of this is a great example of being tight enough to show you are a woman, but covered enough to show you are a lady. Reminds me of Julia Robert's red dress in Pretty Woman... That was pure class!

If you want to wear a white dress what looks like it could be a wedding dress.. this is how you do it! Accent with color and detail. It's not too much. I also love how she accented it with the red shrug and gloves. FAB girl!

Let's talk fluff. LOL That's what I'm going to call it. The bottom of a ball gown style dress that is. This dress I feel is the MAX amount of fluff you should have on a dress for a Mil Ball. It's enough to give you the shape you want, but you wont look like you belong in a fairy tale I will read to a future daughter or you belong as the bride of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

This I feel is the tallest you should go with the heel of your shoes (4 inches). I know I'm probably no fun bc you really want to wear those 12in stilettos. I dont think you should try to be as tall or taller than your husband though if you are naturally more than 6 inches shorter than him. I'm not quite 2 inches shorter than Nic, and I like to NOT be taller than him when I heels, but he did pick out my 3in heels for the ball. They were super cute and I can even wear them with a nice outfit out for an evening. Double bonus! As far a color goes... Try to stay neutral, match your dress, or even some metalics look great. Stay away from hooker shoes please. And also think COMFORT! You can/will be dancing at the end of the night and taking your shoes off... DO NOT DO IT! If you must wear the cute heels during the dinner bring some cute and comfy flats for the dance floor.

 

 

 

Alright so there is my basic Dos and Don'ts of Military Ball attire. I feel it's a pretty good guide to follow. Now don't get me wrong there are still some tricksters out there that make you think Yay or naw... just tap into your inner southern belle charm, kick out the drunk clubber for a moment and think "Would this really be ok?" I promise ladies it's not too hard to find class in a world full of hoochie! Have fun at your next ball!

 

Class, not trash

Carrie Linn

 

Here's what I wore to Nic's ball in Decmeber 2011

 

I know not the best bc it's super dark but this was me and the ladies of the night in our group having fun on the dance floor at the and of the night.