... but you don't notice because the time you spend together is more important.
For my military family out there reading this you completely understand what I mean by this. For those of you who aren't, consider yourself lucky, look at you other half, and give them a big hug and kiss right now.
Now imagine you get that one hug and kiss just once a week. Once a month. Once in six months. Once in a year or more. Would you cherish that hug and kiss much more than the quick little peck you just gave them?
This is something that I feel is hard for those that dont have to spend LONG amounts of time away from their SO to understand. You can say you understand because you only get to see them on weekends. Or they leave on short business trips often. But do you truly understand what its like to miss someone so much you actually have to learn how to live your life without them physically there?
I'm not picking on civilians. I really am not because missing some one you love is missing them no matter what. I do ask though that you please don't tell us that you know how hard it is. Honestly look at your relationship and then try to imagine a major part of our relationships... being apart from our loved one.
I know some military families that have been apart more than they have been together in their marriage. Nic and I have been apart for a total of 8 months out of the 19 we've been together. So almost a year we have physically gotten to fall asleep beside each other when we have been together for over a year and a half now. Sadly that is nothing compared to some couples I know.
At the end of the day though, how much Nic and I have been apart is nothing once we are by eachother's side. We have been apart from eachother for 7 weeks this time and I can honestly say it has probably been the hardest (this includes the last bit of his deployment when we started dating and got engaged). He missed the ultrasound of finding out we were having a little boy. It was hard on me with him not being here, but it broke my heart knowing that he wouldn't get to be there to personally see his son. Not for me, but for him. He has been very involved in this pregnancy and the last 7 weeks he hasnt gotten to personally see my belly grow, feel his son kick on him, listen to me complain about being sore and worn out.
But I know when I FINALLY get to see him tomorrow those 7 weeks will dissapear the second I get to wrap my arms around him and feel him give me a big hug. Those 7 weeks will just be another notch we put in our survival away from eachother belt. Those 7 weeks will have been just a test for our strength and love for eachother. Those 7 weeks wont exsist the moment I feel him kiss my forhead, him feel Jameson kicking him knowing it's his daddy, and hearing him say I love you.
That is just 7 weeks though. Deployments are a complete different story. You have to learn how to be a complete indepedant person that can and does take care of everything on your own, but still holds your head up when you miss your love so much you physically ache and can barely keep it together. You have to learn how to take up as much of the bed yourself so it doesn't feel empty. You have to learn how to keep their scent around, but not enough to make you miserable when you smell it. You have to learn to be strong when someone asks "Do you miss them?" and not snap. You have to learn how to live without them when you are always thinking about them and waiting to hear from them.
Missing someone is hard for any and every one, military or civilian. Living without someone for so long you have to figure out how to live without them is the most difficult thing we have to face. You try not to make large milestones but also make note of everyone that does happen. Try to fill in the empty space and time by staying busy. Fill your mind with things that dont matter so you dont worry about those things that do.
Every day apart is another heart break, but it's also a healing knowing it's one day closer to being back together.
Don't take a hug, kiss, smile or laugh for granted. Hundreds of us would do anything to get all of those everyday.
Missing him, but worth it
Carrie Linn
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